Stop Your Divorce By Choosing What Is Best

Maybe you are so fed up with your marriage right now that you are even wondering why you should try to choose what is best for your partner when you really think he or she doesn't deserve it. As a Christian, of course, the answer is because you know that "deserving it" has nothing to do with love. Love is a choice, and this article is about making those kind of choices for each other. If you choose to consciously work on being kind to one another instead of just being nice, I believe you can really save your marriage and even stop a divorce.

When both partners in a marriage intentionally use their freedom to give to, serve, and love the other, their relationship is rejuvenated. In 1 Corinthians 13:5, Paul writes that love is "not self-seeking." An intentional marriage is a 100/100 proposition. Acts of service know no gender lines.

Try asking yourself who you are in public and who you are at home. Are they the same person? Could a stranger follow you and your spouse around for a week and know, without you telling them, what your values were and the kind of relationship you had?

What qualities do you want to be known for at the end of your life? If you do not see that your present lifestyle choices are making a positive statement about your values, only you can make up your mind to start making choices that will change this.

For example, you could try using a "love basket". A love basket is a basket that holds a tablecloth, candles, matches, napkins, silverware, and plates. It can be packed by either sex. It is never to be used with friends or with children. It is to be used to enjoy time with your partner alone. You see, you need to choose to make time alone with your spouse, otherwise "life" just gets in the way and you can wind up drifting apart.

Here are some other choices you could make:

• A date time once a week. Alternate the planning.
• A daily time, even just 20 minutes, where you take the time to connect with your spouse.
• A weekly time for sexual intimacy and pleasuring. (More is ok too!)
• A weekly issue discussing time.
• A daily prayer time together..

Looking for more happiness? Try something unique.

• Write a love letter or poem to your mate.
• Create your own David Letterman list: The Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Your Are...
• Create a gratitude journal. Once a day for a year catch your spouse doing something that you value, admire, love, or respect. Write it down and at the end of the year, give it to your partner as a gift.
• Give your partner a gift of your time and energy. Offer them a day that you will work on a project that is important to them or free him up to do something they really want to do.

Feeling of love flow from consistent acts of love. It isn't the bad stuff, but rather the lack of good stuff that causes complacency in a relationship. Periodically every marriage suffers from a case of the relationship "blahs". Nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing is particularly right either. You find yourselves simply too busy, too tired, or too stressed to relate effectively. Choosing what is best, however, means that you begin to make the decision to help your mate become all they can possibly be. By doing this, you find yourself happier too. Good luck, and God bless.