These words were printed in an old brochure some friends and I discovered while on a band tour in university in the foyer of a church. While we all had a good laugh at it then, I have come to the realization that maybe there was a great deal of truth in this approach to Christian dating and relationships.
As I found on a really interesting website about Dating and Courtship, "the problem with our modern dating system today is that it encourages young people to be with many many people, rather than just patiently waiting for the right godly Christian young person whom you could develop a godly "FRIENDSHIP", with hopes and Intentions of a long term commitment leading to marriage."
I think anyone who is part of the dating game knows the truth of this statement. No matter if I like it or not, you will not be able to go to the Bible and find any evidence that supports the modern dating system of "shopping around type of relationships" (involving, emotional bonds, physical bonds and mental intimacy) till you find the perfect person. God's word certainly tells us to look for one godly mate. Maybe Christians should spend more time patiently looking and developing friendships that do not involve emotional commitments UNTIL a young man and a young woman are prepared and able to COMMIT to Marriage.
Another problem with dating the world's way is that it practically encourages people to break up. The couple dates and gets emotionally and maybe physically involved, but if something happens that either party doesn't like, they break up. In this kind of dating game, partners can easily develop the mindset that even in marriage if they don't like the way something is going, they can easily break a commitment to the other person and divorce. This is certainly not the way God desires us to live.
In fact, Numbers 30:2, Mathew 5:37, and Colossians 3:9 state that you should not promise something to another (such as love, affection, relationship) where you do not really intend to keep that promise. To do so is to sin before God. Instead, it is wise for people to watch at a distance when looking for a spouse. You can watch and see if the person you are interested in is walking a Godly life. You can take time to develop a friendship that is not based on emotional or physical attachment. You can get advice from other people whom you respect--maybe even your parents, to see if they think this person is a good match for you.
In conclusion, I really am suggesting that maybe Christian dating is a wrong concept altogether. It would seem that God suggests more of a carefully planned out courtship. Here are the guiding principles that appear to be suggested by God's word:
- Dating, or courtship, should only take place when both sides are ready to seek out a potential marriage partner.
- If you are a Christian, you should only consider dating a Christian
- You should take it slowly, not getting emotionally or physically involved. Take advice from other Christians who really have your best interests at heart.
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Modern dating behavior is new to human history. For most of human history two single people NEVER went anywhere alone together, unless you up to no good. It wasn't until the women's liberation movement in Europe which spawned a sense of independence from male authority(which includes the father). The dangerous, careless, and inferior method of modern day dating came into existence. I am a youth pastor whose life experienced ship wreck due to dating and I see it time and time again with the youth that I minister to. Parents should be involved and PHYSICALLY PRESENT from the beginning of relationship to the wedding day. Even when the relationship gets serious the parents can be physically present yet give the couple space enough to have significant private conversation. Enough cannnot be said concerning how our country has left the subject of marriage unprotected. Thanks for the article :)
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