Monday, January 5, 2009
How Does God View Dating?
How Does God View Dating?
I have been married for a long time, but not so long ago that I do not remember the whole pressure of finding a boyfriend and wondering if I would find the right man. Kids younger and younger all the time are exposed to the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, and hardly anyone denies the sexualizaton of our children from the media and other cultural influences. As a Christian, however, we are called to be different from our culture when that culture is different from the standards of God. So, I believe it is especially important to understand what the Bible really does say about "dating" and male/female relationships.
While dating can mean anything from going out to a movie to premarital sex, I cannot give a complete answer to this topic with a short blog post. However, the whole idea of dating itself is not something that was really done in the Bible times. How can we know, then, what God's heart is on the matter? That is the general topic that I will cover first.
This may cause a lot of controversy, but let me say that there is not a single Bible reference that I can find that endorses the kind of recreational dating that takes place today. By recreational dating I mean dating that takes place where both people have no interest in a long term commitment, where fleshly and emotional pleasure are all that are important, and there is no thought of marriage.
Christians may already be protesting, "But how can I find out if I like someone if I can't try them out first?!" Believe it or not, playing the field is not the only way to get to know someone, and I will get to some of those ways in future articles.
Let me start this controversial topic out with one main point, however. The Bible makes it very clear that if you are a Christian, you should not enter a relationship unless it is with another Christian. That principle is made pretty clear in Deuteronomy 7:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14, and 1 Corinthians 7:39. While I know there have been successful relationships where a Christian marries a non-Christian and is able to convert the unbelieving partner, most cases have a lot of heartache and sorrow to get to that point. If God calls marrying an unbeliever a sin, dating one is also sinful. Of course you can't always be sure that someone you are dating is truly a believer or not, but that will prove itself over time if you are looking for the truth.
I realize that some of what I've said already may seem extreme to many Christians already in the middle of the dating scene. I am writing these articles to offer my research on the topic and engage those seeking answers into dialog so we can find truth together. Please comment on what you read and offer your wisdom as well. Look for part 2 in this topic soon.
How Does God View Dating?
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Is this an active Blog? If so, I'd like to pose a question.
ReplyDeleteI have been dating a man from church for the past 4 months now. He is an incredible man of God and I must say that I have grown spiritually over the past few months as a result of our relationship. We have talked marriage and are looking to work towards that.
My issue is that I am not physically attracted to him. I have a strong spiritual and emotional connection with him, but not so much physically. The bible does teach us that we outh to judge as God judges, by the heart and not as the world does. The world tells me that he should be so tall, well dressed and groomed. But God says that I should look at his heart.
I have to say that over the past few weeks I have been having so many doubts about our relationship because 1) I don't believe he spends alot of effort in the way he looks
2) financially he is not stable. I've been funding our relationship financially
3) he is 13 years my senior.
I've been praying and seeking God on this matter but I just feel like I am not hearing from Him. Its it nieve of me to think that I can marry someone who I am not attracted to physically?
Any input will be greatly appreciated.
Regards,
nv
NV-
ReplyDeletePlease be encouraged. Biblically the man is to provide for the woman. God does not call us to be manipulated and in a relationship that drains us because it is inadequate. If he is not stable financially that should be a red flag that causes you to ask other questions. 1) is he going from job to job and not committing to a stable position? 2) is he spending money recklessly with no thought toward real needs?
3) does he have no restrant when it comes to his finances? All of these are important questions that should be addressed and maybe that is only the start of seeing things that are dooming your realtionship to failure. God does not call us to decide what we are willing to sacrifice and then save us from ourselves without learning. God does call us to be a sacrifice and for Him to decide what we need to sacrifice. God wil provide for you in all circumstances, but not when it is through giving into foolish desire and turning to the lustful desires of the world. Look to your brothers and sisters in Christ to give you godly advice and direction. Sometimes we are unable to see the way we should go because Satan has blinded us to the truth, but when we bring in the light of God through others the truth can be illuminated. God Bless you in you search for the truth.